(Author’s Note: This started with direction and then sort of spiraled out on me. After sitting on it for way too long, I’m just releasing it’s imperfect self into the wild, because I think there are some things mentioned in here that people need to be talking about, and maybe some of you will resonate with some of those issues and write about them more eloquently than I do here.)
I think my least favorite part about growing up charismatic was the desperation.
My entire existence boiled down to this perpetual standard of “hunger”. How desperate was I for God?
Sometimes, I felt genuinely desperate, and ironically, those were the “good” times, because I could tell I was being genuine. Other times, I couldn’t quite muster up that emotional longing, but I sure would try, all the while berating myself for not being genuinely “hungry for more of God.”
I remember one time, I even came up with this surprisingly wise philosophy, where I reasoned that if I wasn’t longing for God, I could at least long to be longing for Him. And maybe… if that didn’t work, I could long to long to be longing for Him.
Deep stuff.
Why so intent on this hunger/longing/desperation?
Well… because that’s the only way God was going to move… to bring this thing called “revival” to a world that was on it’s way to Hell.
The word on the pulpit was that if I didn’t want our loving God to perpetually roast everyone for infinity and beyond, we needed to get millions of people SO desperate for God to move, that He would oblige.
But even more than that, I think the answer was that I really wanted to be God’s best friend. I wanted to be the one He picked to release His supernatural power and reconcile the world to Himself.
And I hated myself for not wanting that even more than I already did.
It’s Easy To Catch Fire In A Dry Season
If there is one phrase that’s been coined in the Christian world, it’s the “dry season”.
For Evangelicals, the “dry season” typically means they are struggling to enjoy their Bible reading time or they don’t feel very emotional during worship or they haven’t thought about God in a few days.
It’s similar for Charismatics, but we like to really raise the stakes, because in our eyes, our inability to summon the Holy Spirit into our midst is what is waylaying global “revival” from taking place.
It’s interesting to me that concepts like “being on fire for God” or “revival” are not even Biblical, yet they make up the core tenants of our day-to-day theology… particularly in our youth ministries. When our kids are just beginning to deal with identity, sexuality, independence, and other crucial components of real life, we tell them to ignore all that because what they REALLY need is simply to be “on fire for Jesus”.
Most of these kids realize the ridiculousness of it all and take off.
The unfortunate ones stay forever. They keep trying to be desperate. They keep trying to catch fire. And if the dry season lasted forever, they would eventually drop out and start exploring real life.
But instead…
There are these really great/inconvenient-in-this-situation things called Endorphins, and when we are sad, stressed, or in pain, our brain tries to shift course by releasing a fresh batch of these guys, making you feel better.
So in other words, when we are sad, anxious and stressed, our brains responds by releasing a bunch of “good feels” all up in us.
And you’ll never guess what one of the most effective activities for releasing these endorphins is…
Group singing.
Yep, when we sing together in big groups, our brains release a crap ton of endorphins plus a healthy dose of oxytocin (which triggers warm feelings of trust and intimacy).
And in these moments of elation and intimacy, we charismatics suddenly feel that all that desperation was worth it – that this rush of good feelings that we like to call “the Spirit moving” is the direct result of our anxious pleas and prayers.
But it turns out, it’s just really easy to catch emotional fire in a dry season. We build up anxiousness and stress throughout the week and then show up to church for our worship service, ready for our weekly dose of endorphins and oxytocin.
And if we really get desperate – if our “dry season” lasts for a month or two or three… then it takes something really special – like 10,000 people all singing together at a conference – to get us that high we need. Fortunately for us Christians, we don’t disappoint when it comes to conferences.
A Matter Of Priorities
Now let me stop here for moment and clarify something.
I don’t have anything against worship services. I don’t think there is anything inherently wrong with getting together and singing. In fact, I just made a scientific case for why we SHOULD be getting together and singing.
I’m not even saying that the endorphin rush is the only thing contributing to our experience in worship.
But consider this for a moment.
Jesus never once asked anyone to worship him, yet I can count at least 29 times where He said “Follow me.”
And what did one experience when they followed Jesus?
- The hungry were fed
- The sick were healed
- Those in spiritual bondage were set free
- Church profiteering was overturned
- The religious leaders were challenged
- The wealthy, exploitative tax collector was invited to lunch and left with a heart transformation
And here’s my favorite – those who consistently spent their time with Him were loved and discipled rather than used and exploited.
There’s nothing wrong with singing or having a worship service, but in many charismatic churches today, the “mountain top” of the Christian experience is an emotional worship service. Doing something Jesus never asked for is the pinnacle while we categorically ignore the majority of his teachings.
This is why we can have prominent Charismatic leaders supporting politicians who embody the exact opposite of Jesus, because we aren’t actually following Jesus. We have simply created a new set of traditions and slapped the “Christ” brand onto them.
6 And He said to them, “Rightly did Isaiah prophesy of you hypocrites, as it is written:
‘This people honors Me with their lips,
But their heart is far away from Me.
7 ‘But in vain do they worship Me,
Teaching as doctrines the precepts of men.’8 Neglecting the commandment of God, you hold to the tradition of men.”
9 He was also saying to them, “You are experts at setting aside the commandment of God in order to keep your tradition.
We like to think we are special and new, but really, we just have new traditions.
But again, the problem isn’t the music. The problem is all the stuff we ignore while we focus on our worship services. The problem is how the worship services serve as our counterpoint to our seasons of “dryness” and desperation.
Spiritual Vs. Natural
The trouble isn’t that nothing real is happening or that everything in our lives is manufactured. The trouble is that that we insist on making that divide. In the charismatic church, we insist on differentiating the “natural” from the “supernatural”.
You aren’t just saying affirming things to that person. No, we need to call that “prophecy” and spiritualize it, because to us, there is nothing inherently valuable in simply speaking positive things over each other.
This also means we need to get really scared anytime someone outside of our exclusive group taps into anything we claim as our supernatural dominion.
For example, when non-Christian groups claim healing is happening, we like to claim “false” or maybe even “demon” without the slightest investigation! Or even worse, when scientific studies reveal that the placebo effect achieves actual results for a percentage of participants – aka a certain percentage of people who believe they are being healed will actually be healed regardless of the reason they believe they are being healed or the legitimacy of the healing method – that’s when we really freak out!
If it’s not 100% divine intervention, then to us, it has no value, and so everything has to be natural vs. supernatural.
Unfortunately, we are often aided in this perspective by our counterpoints – those without a mystic bone in their body. We see people who are incapable of appreciating or gleaning from anything they don’t understand, and we think that is the only alternative. We see people who can’t really enjoy anything because to them, everything is rooted in some meaningless mathematical equation.
But that’s not our only alternative.
Breaking Free Of The Cycle
The reality is that there is no divide between the natural and the supernatural. There is just reality. There is a little bit of stuff we know, a ton that we don’t know, and a bit more we can learn every day.
And that reality is fascinating. It’s beautiful. It’s lovely. Every little piece is meaningful.
We spend so much time in the church demeaning it, belittling it, and trying to replace it with “mountain top” emotional experiences, that we begin to think of normal life as “the valley”.
That’s not wholeness. That’s not abundant life.
That’s dysfunction.
Desperation is not a fruit of the spirit. To truly abide in the spirit is to be at peace – to rest in our identity as beloved sons and daughters.
Desperate for weeks —> Euphoria for a moment —> Back to desperation = THIS IS NOT HEALTHY SPIRITUALITY
There are moments of joy in every healthy relationship. There are moments of pain and doubt. But when a relationship is a dramatic seesaw between heartbreak and euphoria, we don’t say, “Well they are just really hungry for more of each other.” We say, “They are dysfunctional and codependent.”
It’s time that we stop training people in the church to turn their spirituality into a dysfunctional relationship. And it’s time that we start training people to be independent, emotionally healthy adults who don’t need to conform to all our beliefs in order to share their lives with us.
I’ve discovered that there is far more love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control to be found outside of the desperation cycle. And I didn’t need to reject the baby to rid myself of the bathwater. I still consider myself charismatic, because I have had many meaningful experiences in my life that hold no scientific explanation.
But those experiences were not meaningful simply because I couldn’t explain them… or because the best available explanation was “God”. They are meaningful because they are meaningful to me, just as many things I can explain are equally meaningful.
So why am I writing any of this?
I guess there are a couple of reasons:
- I’m tired of being surrounded by constant misery feigning as “hunger” in the charismatic church.
- I want a world desperate for identity to find the Jesus we’re hiding behind our “supernatural” facades.
- I’m hoping we Christians can begin letting go of the fear that keeps our minds and communities so exclusive.
I realize my thoughts are a bit scattered, and while I normally wouldn’t publish them in such a state, I think these topics need to be addressed, so consider this the prologue and hopefully, we can dive into some of them with a more in-depth discussion.
Thank you for this. I hope to see a more emotionally stable church as a whole in our lifetime.
As a missionary, I have seen how this has overflowed into missions and what leaders tell young people to expect on the field. The call them to change the world through spreading revival. When this doesn’t happen they often leave the mission field and go to the next spiritual encounter or nation. This has led to the natuons becoming filled with more short term missionaries and less long term. If your are called to the nations you are called to labor for years not for moments.
Yes, all I need is to behold and embrace the Lord Jesus and by His love transform my heart. I’m persuaded in the intergrity of God’s lovingkindness and truth that brings my heart and mind to a place of peace and rest. We no longer need to live in SPA spiritual performance anxiety and manufacturer our spiritual experience. It is the lover of our souls that brings forth all His beauty, love and life as we rest in Him. May we all dance in divine romance and innocence with our loving Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
Peace…..
Thanks Jordan, me too!
Brilliant thank you for putting my mixed up thoughts into more coherent explanation!
Thanks Valerie 🙂
I am so happy to get that baby out of that bath water! She is so ready to be dried off and out there in the world fully alive and growing.
Agreed!
Wonderfully said!!
Thanks Patty 🙂
This is going to be a great dialogue. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I think some (not all) of the desperation comes from poor theology that goes beyond the natural/supernatural divide (dualism). There’s so much to unlearn…
Amen
Agreed, the root of it is absolutely poor theology. As Christians, our view of ourselves is very strongly linked to our view of God and how we believe he sees us.
mostly I agree wholeheartedly. But the idea here that has been apparent for some time is the idea of what is worship? It is NOT a bunch of songs, nor is it the gathering together, nor a myriad of other things: worship is our attitude of heart toward the living God ; recognizing Him as our savior and LORD. Everything hangs on those two things. We can safely escape hell by saying some simple words, or can we? John 1 says that to as many as received Him he gave the right to BECOME children of God. The receiving part isn’t the end but just the beginning. The living out of that committment is the becoming part of that sentence. It is an ongoing relationship with the living God through the three separate but united persons. At times we relate through the Spirit, At times we call on the brother who made it, at others we call upon the Father as we attempt to become like that brother. Worship is the carrying out of the commitment that we made with Him and actually becoming children by imitating the Father through the Father the brother showed us, or it is the calling we have received to do the work sharing with those we know all we know about the process.
great article – your point about “follow me” is excellent. Suggest you not contrast it with worship; Following Him is worship (also the first and most important commandment). Your real point is that we try to substitute worship and devotion for a relationship that takes us beyond the walls and into the culture… doing what he’s doing to bless nations.
I appreciate your heart felt words. My thoughts are often jumbled up about why I do what I believe and God knows.
I love to worship and when I’m asked what I love to listen….its worship. Kinda weird to many people. To explain that worship means I place my past, present and future into his control daily.
Well said John.
Great read and i can relate in many ways. Being one who left drugs behind many years ago it was a natural fit for me to fit into “charismatic” circles when I “gave my life back to God” since it had all the “drugs” i needed through many “experiences”. Not to mention, plenty of “confirmations” to feed into my larger than life ideas of how I was going to “take over the world” (for God of course) through the supernatural. I realized several years ago I was addicted to the “charge” of energy Id get through these different ideas or experiences and it wasn’t producing as much good fruit as i expected. I also realized many of my relationships were dysfunctional too. at first i thought I just needed to “press in more” because the “enemy” was out to “ship wreck my faith”. But over time i decided to objectively accept the reality that there was a lot of dysfunction and Jesus heart is to restore one to wholeness, not feed dysfunction. whats interesting is that the fruit of the spirit is much more evident in my life now. as with anything we get “addicted” to, it takes time to detox and develop a healthy pattern but well worth it.
anyway, I have in no way given up on my “spirituality” nor am I against charismatic folks, in fact i probably would still be called that by many based on some of my core beliefs.
Thanks for sharing Brannon. It really does seem to mimic stuff we know to be dysfunctional, like drug abuse or codependent relationships. I’m glad you found your way out of the bad bits and into wholeness!
Do you have any studies to confirm what goes on in the brain during “worship”? I totally understand it and get it and makes sense to me and seems to confirm alot of what ive learned about the brain, but was wondering if there was anything to confirm it from an objective source. Or do you have any resources that confirm this i can look into?
http://science.howstuffworks.com/life/inside-the-mind/emotions/singing-happy1.htm
Not easy to express my thoughts at this moment. Thankful for your share, thankful I am not the “only”.
Thank you for the honesty and most likely the courage to share and “letting it go”.
Here’s the piece I linked to in the post – http://ideas.time.com/2013/08/16/singing-changes-your-brain/
Here’s another good one:
“Other chemicals called ‘endorphins‘ act in the brain as natural pain relievers. Their action is imitated by heroin and morphine, also alcohol. Again, it is small wonder that people who suffer from the emotional pains of regret, shame, guilt, and despair might find relief from their demons in forgetfulness. But that isn’t happiness.”
http://reset.me/story/this-is-what-happens-to-your-brain-when-you-experience-happiness/
As a non-charismatic I rejoice in what seems to me the very insightful and measured response you describe to your experience of growing up charismatic and seeing some of the problems.
I think God is always working to “reform” all of us and our theologies, and he has much to do
Thanks Stanley 🙂
The first and most important commandment is to Love God with all your soul and might. Hunger for more of God is not wrong as long as it comes from the Holy Spirit. Charismatics can make “relationship” with God a “religious” act, but that is not what God wants. God wants us to love him more than anything in this world. Period.
Can you make yourself do that? No you can’t. Not by your own decision. Even that is through Christ. The more you know him, the more you can’t help but love him, but human nature can’t just love someone because you know you should. That’s law and law kills.
Excellent, Helen. People forget that is the summation of the Law. “We love Him because He first loved us” is a response to being loved.
A few verses that support your thought process- “he has given us everything we need for life and godliness”, and “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.”
Not to say that it is wrong to “press in ” in prayer. I have some friends who used to visit a deranged man to pray for him, and he seemed to get crazier every time they went, until one day they just had nothing else to do and so they prayed for a really really long time, and all at once the guy was totally restored into his right mind and said that every time they would come to pray the demons would start to start to leave but that when my friends went away, they would all come back because the deliverance was incomplete. And that day he was completely delivered and has been a perfectly sane person ever since. So persevering for a breakthrough can be good, detached from the issues of self and “I have to get hungry enough” that so many of us get mired in.
Thanks for the article.
Thanks for sharing Mark. I’ve had similar “press in” experiences myself, and while my view of them is still evolving, I would definitely agree that there is a lot of baby in the bathwater haha.
This is SO good. Thank you for writing this and setting these ideas forth.
I have one thought as an addendum to this and this is not meant to contradict the essence of this post. I worry that some people will take the explanation of endorphins in a way that will strips off the beauty of the emotional experience of corporate worship. It’s kind of like enlightenment-era revelations on the nature of physics demystifying the beauty of natural processes by giving the “ingredients” behind something. As a result, many find that the sunrise is less magical because they now understand Copernicus and electromagnetism.
The point is, what if God intentionally designed the endorphins to be released and that’s part of the constant encouragement throughout the Scriptures “to make music in our hearts to the Lord,” to sing, sing, sing of his praises. He knew what he designed to happen, and just because we have neurological explanations of it, does not change the beauty and divine endorsement of it.
I KNOW you are not stripping away the importance of songful worship. You stated clearly that in the article. Again, this is an addendum, as it is possible some people will take this as a justification to criticize the ongoing expressions and importance of corporate singing throughout the church. Besides that, the essence of the article is amazing and there really is a negative thing happening in the Charismatic world where people aren’t understanding the finished work of Christ–and THAT dirties the water of God’s endorphin-laced gift of song.
Well said, Nick. I completely agree, and I definitely appreciate the need for a comment like this to be made.
Thanks for this addendum – it helps to be reminded of such things. Even as a seminary-trained lay person, I still struggle when certain facts from history or the natural world demystify some part of life with God that I connect deeply with (I’m an INFP after all) and that was a helpful reframe this morning.
Thank you for this article! It speaks to me on many different levels and topics. May I add, that Eph 5 tells us to “not be drunk with wine, but to be being filled with the Spirit…”, what I have learned about that is that we are truly not lacking anything if we are “In Christ”, except to renew our mind to(sensitize our hearts by paying attention to) the truth of His word, and learning to abide in His ever present presence, and in His love, which is also always present. The manifestation of God’s presence, healing, love, peace, etc., is in reality, our opening our awareness to His reality and realness, not waiting for God to “move”. He has already poured out His Spirit, and has already given us all things, as a previous commenter has already said. All we have to do is take our faithful, loving, generous God at His word and receive what He’s already done! Thank God, I have escaped the cycle!!!
Well said Conway!
Very good points, as usual. In my experience, “hunger for God” is often seen as a badge for true spirituality. If you aren’t hungry, you are somehow backslidden. I used to believe that, too. Then one day I came across John 6:35, where Jesus said, “I am the bread of life; he who comes to me will not hunger and he who believes in me will never thirst.” This was the turning point for me. Either the church was right, and I had to be hungry and thirsty in order to be spiritual and please God. Or Jesus was right, and he wanted me to be satisfied with and in him. It took a while, but I discovered living in his presence and fullness, which leaves no room for hunger.
It’s so true Hannelore. So true.
“Either the church was right… or Jesus was right.”
It’s sad that so much of modern theology brings these two into conflict.
I believe our status as new creations in Christ needs to lead us to a new vocabulary or at least a new understanding of common words, especially in our worship and in our prayer. Take, for instance the ideas of hungering and thirsting for God. Words have meanings, of course, but not everybody agrees on those meanings so it’s important to spell out what you and I mean by them.
The meaning of hunger I see most often comes from a mindset of lack which is the default mindset of the fallen world. The world we are born into and have most of our experience with. There is never enough in this mindset for we are always feeling lacking and thus always seeking more, even the things of God. We need to careful about carrying that mindset into the New Creation because it is strictly a result of the Adamic mind and that ultimately brings chaos, corruption and destruction.
Young British preacher, Phil Drysdale puts it like this:
“We as Christians have become one with the Godhead. We are in the Father and the Father is in us. We are in Christ and Christ is in us. We are in the Holy Spirit and the Holy Spirit is in us… [He is the Vine, and we are the branches, etc.]
So, just how are we planning on growing closer to God? [And I say the same applies to “Hungering and Thirsting” for God]
Can a branch get closer to the vine?…
This language of feeling far from God and needing to grow closer to Him is extremely damaging! It is creating a false theology for many people of how their relationship with God should work. It places their union with God upon their performance rather than on Jesus’ work on the cross.
Isn’t this just semantics?
I get accused of that all the time. I know it’s just a language thing, and I know many mature, wise Christians use it to describe a deep meaningful process of growing IN the Godhead… However, my point remains – while some Christians can interpret it correctly, very few do. There are more Christian walks harmed by this language than the ones who benefit from it.”
Note: Square brackets, as usual carry my own comments and opinions
Hungering then is at best IMO an Old Testament concept.
“The Old Testament is to point us to the fullness of grace and truth revealed in Christ. Too often “following the Bible” is used as an excuse to not follow Jesus.”
– Jacob Wright
Those who hungered and thirsted for righteousness before the Cross were going to be fully satisfied in Christ (Matt 5:6) Blessed were those who hungered when Jesus was preaching for they would be filled or be satisfied (Luke 6:21).
“And Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life. He who comes to Me shall never hunger, and he who believes in Me shall never thirst.” (John 6:35) NKJV
Hungering in the Old Testament is understandable and probably even laudable. God was perceived as being outside humankind coming to them or upon them. Everything was external so positioning yourself to receive from Him was basic common sense. In the New Covenant though we carry Christ within us so we already have everything we are seeking. We just have to open our eyes to the new realities.
It is not easy though to come out of the mentality of lack we have experienced for years and years. Embracing the mentality of the abundance we have in Christ requires changing and continually renewing our mindset. Abundance is something we are much less familiar with than lack. Do we really want to apply the world’s lack mentality to our spirituality? I say to do so is to run counter to the Gospel.
I do believe there is a a true kind of hungering for God which is a New Creation phenomenon. It is the hungering to fully experience and manifest all the divine realities which have been deposited in our spirits by the finished work of the Cross. And if that’s what we mean by hungering for more of God, then that is very good. But that is probably something only well-grounded and more mature believers would pick up on.
Matt Spinks had some comments recently about revival which express the same idea of living from a position of having the Presence of God always in us. Just as I think there is a true New Creation hungering, there is also a true New Creation revival. And in my experience the difference is very important. It is what renewing our minds is all about.
“If by ‘revival’ you mean everyone realizing what they already freely have, here and now, in Christ, then I’m all about that!! If revival means sharing the Presence of God and encouragement with others under the already open heaven, then that’s amazing! If revival is people awakening to the fullness of who they are in Him, then that’s amazing. But, the emphasis has to be that God is already with us, and that we are fully empowered now! No distance, no delay!
But if ‘revival’ is characterized by if we do this, then God will do this’, begging & working for what we already have, it is really working counter to the Gospel and is just another form of dead religion destined to fizzle out, leaving more broken people in it’s wake.”
I’m not criticizing or judging any individuals who don’t see this the way I do. They may be using “hungering” in the best possible sense, but that’s not what I’ve usually seen. I just want people to think about this and discuss it. In my opinion though if anyone sees hungering as something they are missing and see it as something they have to do to get God to move I think they are at odds with the Finished Work of the Cross.
And in the end I’m just reminding people we all are predisposed to see things from a lack mentality because that is what we have the most experience and comfort with, but that lack mentality is not really part of the New Creation. God wants us to know Him, to experience Him and His Life in unlimited abundance.
Very, very well said Dean.
Thank you, Jacob, for a well written article that is fully understandable to most in Church Life. My testimony involves the Holy Spirit of God. I hope you get time to read it – it’s not too long, just 1948 to Now. 🙂
mikehill4jesus
Haha thanks Michael!
Some time ago I heard a preacher say that the root of the word desperation was despair and despair and faith don’t mix. Granted he was a “faith preacher” but I took this word to heart and I will change the lyrics to songs that use this word. Very good article. Praise and worship are connected and I also recall in the Word it says we are to present our bodies a living sacrifice which is our reasonable worship. Worship is definitely not to be confined to a Sunday morning service, or just singing in the car or the shower.
“Despair and faith don’t mix.”
Agreed!
Thank you for a very helpful and thoughtful article.
Thanks Earl, I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂
What a liberating article!
I can vouch for the fact that I years ago, I would ‘miss mountaintop moments’ and wonder what was wrong with me. I’ve realised how performance-based Christianity can be. I totally agree with living naturally supernatural and vice versa. No distinctions.
“Follow”…..simple . Love it.
Thanks Leonie, glad we found our way out of the dysfunction!
This is a fantastic piece of writing! I couldn’t agree more
Thanks Valerie!
This is awesome. Thank you.
Haha thanks Hannah Ray! Hope you’re doing well!
Some pretty emotionally charged thoughts about the dangers of being emotionally manipulative ☺ Please read the Writer’s Note before and after you read this.
I hope that most of this conversation will not happen here,
but that many conversations will come of it, at tables with Bibles open.
Face to face is the way, not Facebook, so we can see the reactions on one another’s face when a wonderfully crafted reply hits its mark. Stay in relationship loved ones.
With sincere love from a youth pastor who prefers Jesus’ baptism to follow John’s and who echos David’s repeated prayer, “Revive me” BTW – both in the Bible 😉
Haha I think “Revive me” is the perfect prayer for a youth pastor 😀
Blown away! Just realising this the last week or two myself… and currently experiencing the wholeness you describe after a miserable lifetime of desperation and euphoria! Will someday gather my thoughts to add to the conversation!!
Thanks Liadhan, glad you found your way to wholeness! This grass really is greener on this side haha.
As an African American pentecostal woman, I must give you a virtual high five. Although I didn’t agree verbatim, I wholeheartedly agree with the spirit of the post. Thank you for offering a healthier way to interpret our charismatic experience
Virtual high-five back at ya! Thanks Shay 🙂
Interestingly for me, the endorphins stopped kicking in after a while of group singing. It used to be that I’d get into worship and my emotions would change. But later, it had no affect on me.
I think we would all be in a better spot if that was the case for all of us. It definitely makes the transition into new perspectives easier.
Thank you for writing this. Good job!
Thanks Aaron!
For far too long, I was suspicious (for lack of a better word) of the emotional high that accompanied praise, worship & chorus singing. I found it confounded confusing how people could be so temporarily transformed … Endorphins … Now, that explains so much!! I think back to how I was up and how I was down, and how I craved “more of Jesus.” It was mind control that walked me down the aisle, and left me with a spiritual “hangover” (for lack of a better word) the next morning. Counterfeit conversions … Being saved over and over … Endorphins … Mind control … I am sooo ticked off. I didn’t understand why I wasn’t as spiritual or as strong as some …. mind control … And I was never “good enough” to receive “the anointing.” I feel like something in me has been unlocked … I am good enough, I just didn’t know I could just bask in God’s presence … There aren’t enough tears of gratitude … For the wake up …. Thank you!!!
Thanks for sharing Judy!
It’s such a tragedy to me, because if literally all we offered in the Church was a place of permanent family, where people took legitimate interest in each other’s lives without trying to force behavioral or belief changes, we would be the most popular, transformative place on Earth.
Very thought provoking, thanks for sharing it! My two cents worth: From an Old Testament perspective (fulfilled by Jesus in the New Testament), worship isn’t about music or singing, it’s about offering sacrifice to the Lord. Music as an integral part of the worship experience wasn’t commonplace until King David’s day. The first mention of the word most frequently translated worship in the Old Testament was when Abraham “bowed himself” before the Lord (Gen. 18:2). In doing so, he was (apparently) the first person in the Old Testament to offer *himself* as a sacrifice, rather than grain, wine, or an animal. When David came along, he recognized that it wasn’t the animal sacrifices that God cared about, it was our hearts and attitudes. He was the first to institute musical expression into the ceremony of sacrifice as a means of offering heart attitudes (love, devotion, declaration of God’s goodness, gratitude, etc.) along with animal sacrifices to God. Paul confirms the principle of offering the heart to God in the New Testament when he calls us to offer ourselves as living sacrifices (Romans 12:1). If we really understood this principle, we would recognize that true worship is setting ourselves apart for the Lord’s use, forsaking the world, denying ourselves, and obediently following Jesus. We would use singing and music as a vehicle through which we actively present our *selves*, not just our songs as offerings to Him. Many believers, however, see music as something we do to receive from God and enhance our feelings, not as something we do sacrificially to bless, honor, pour out our love to Him, and place ourselves on the altar before Him. While it’s true that He doesn’t demand or require it, He *does* seek out those who worship Him in spirit and in truth (John 4:23) and those people sought out by God tend to find themselves set free from the yo-yo cycle of human emotions – the desperation and euphoria addressed in the article.
Thanks for commenting Dave!
Well said! Yes a little scattered- but with a topic so intricate it would be hard not to be 🙂 I think you’re on a good track. I’ve grown up in charismatic circles and remain in a semi-charismatic community today. I appreciate your point about worship- and though I do believe what you say to be true- I would add God did design our bodies with purpose. He ordains angels and saints to sing together around his throne. And yes, often and unfortunately worship services can hardly be differentiated from a U2 concert- feelings and emotions abounding- I believe song and prayer are meant to go together, and we’re meant to do that together with others. Singing your prayers, or singing from the Bible actually does change a person- whether it is endorphins or the Holy Spirit- either way it is by his hand we are uplifted, since he created endorphins too… We must NOT ask the question whether or not to sing, but WHAT are we singing, WHY are we singing… and to WHOM?
Thanks again for your thoughts- As believers we do indeed need to consider these things!
Thanks Joy 🙂
Thanks for writing this! Looking forward for more…Father God’s love is so real to me and it is meant for daily life too, not only an euforisch encounter! He is just as real having no euphoria at all; thank God!!!
Thanks Ingrid 🙂
Jacob, thank you! Sooo much here that resonates for me. Just grew so weary of the endless plight to “hunger more for more of God”, and the endless questioning in my own mind . . . “Is there ever enough God to feel satisfied . . . to NOT still be ‘hungry’? And if he does not fully satisfy, why do we want MORE of what does not completely fill us?”
And then, of course, the ‘shame’ of questioning what no one else I knew would dare question — resulting in more spiritual self-degradation.
It’s so real Deb. Glad we found our way out!
Appreciate reading your article….. honest heart felt perspective
An often missing ingredient in charismatic circles that I have been a part of is the emphasis on growing in the fruit of the spirit and how we get along in day to day life in relationships with people. The gifts of the Spirit are often overemphasized. What we need is a healthy balance between the two. Both are important!
Wow! I think we went to church together! I left the organized church about a decade ago, so frustrated and defeated because of what you described. What I found is that I didn’t leave God behind. I grew so stable and content in my relationship with God outside of church involvement. Your comments perfectly framed my own experiences. I also still consider myself a Charismatic, but no longer fall into the trap of emotionalism that tortured my very soul. Thank you!!