‘Whatever you do in life, surround yourself with smart people who’ll argue with you.’ – John Wooden
We all want to be part of a community that loves us, validates us, and even agrees with us. We thrive among “like-minded” friends who share our view of the world, and thanks to today’s connectivity, finding our “tribe” has never been easier. Regardless of where you fall on the ideological spectrum, it’s incredibly easy to find a group that agrees with you wholeheartedly and will affirm your views.
It’s also incredibly easy to find a group that agrees with you wholeheartedly, will affirm your views, and will join you in mocking and disparaging anyone who disagrees with your shared perspectives.
No group is immune to this phenomenon. Let me say that again. No tribe, group, club, or community is immune to this phenomenon.
When Everyone’s A Caricature
I’ve seen this first-hand among fundamentalist Christians, progressive Christians, political conservatives and political liberals. It doesn’t matter where on the spectrum you fall, as soon as you get there, you are tempted to turn the “other side” into a caricature.
Ironically, it’s only when a group begins treating someone as a caricature that an actual, real-life caricature is created. President Obama has never acted like a caricature, but I can think of 10 people who have turned themselves into right-wing caricatures through the way they’ve talked about him on their Facebook walls. The average man these days is not a chauvinist caricature, but I can think of multiple “feminists” who have turned themselves into caricatures with their continuous wide-sweeping accusations.
Labeling those who disagree with us as “stupid”, “ignorant”, “bigoted”, or even “evil” allows us to safely ignore the legitimate challenges their views present to our way of thinking. As a result, we become increasingly segmented in society, with every side camped around a piece of truth, unwilling to admit the shortcomings in that truth’s application to the larger problems at hand.
In other words, as we continue to unilaterally reject the “other side”, we ALL become caricatures.
When we refuse to look deeper than the surface-level flaws and shortcomings of our ideological opponents, we limit our own understanding and ability to build something positive.
When Anecdotes Become Our Reality
I could stop here and end this somewhat nicely, but let’s put the “brazen” in Brazen Church for a second. Let’s stop generalizing for a moment and talk about you. Just you. Why do you disrespect the “other side”?
I’ll tell you why. Because there are a lot of people acting stupid on that side. There are a lot of people talking ignorantly on that side. There are some real bigots over there and some legitimately evil people on that side of the line.
That’s not in your head. That’s a true story. That’s a real experience you had. That actually happened. You’ve experienced “those people” acting “like that” time and time again.
But as a rational adult, it’s your responsibility to separate a handful of experiences from the actual issue – to look deeper than the disreputable people you encounter and discern the underlying legitimate concerns that are powering the broader viewpoint.
Allow me to elaborate with a story of my own.
As I was reading an article on racial prejudice the other day, I was asking myself why I dislike the “race card” so much. I know racial injustice and prejudice are still present in society today, so why does the phrase “it’s cause I’m black” make me so uncomfortable?
As I was pondering this, my thoughts drifted back to the first few times I ever heard that statement used. I remembered that it was essentially the catchphrase of several constantly disruptive and disrespectful kids at my school growing up.
Any time they got disciplined, even by black teachers, the race card got played. “It’s ’cause I’m black,” they would say.
As I was thinking about this, I asked myself, “How is this relevant to my feelings on issues happening today?” And I realized that ultimately, these first impressions and the associated feelings have literally nothing to do with most of the issues playing out on the news today.
Sure, there are still people playing the race card like those students, and there always will be, but most of the issues in the limelight today are legitimate ones, where racial prejudice needs to be exposed, and it’s my responsibility as a discerning adult to make that distinction and not turn outlying examples from my past into the lens through which I see an issue.
I can either cherry pick anecdotes to reinforce a pre-existing feeling, or I can evaluate issues objectively, based on their own merit.
So how is this story relevant to our discussion?
- I had several experiences with individuals who were acting stupid and ignorant in relation to an issue.
- My feelings towards that issue were strongly influenced by those experiences.
- When engaging with that issue today, I can either write off a given perspective as “ignorant” and “stupid” based on my experiences, or I can make an effort to understand the legitimate reasons that perspective exists.
We Have To Stop Labeling
I don’t care what side of any given ideological fence you fall on. We have to stop labeling. We have to stop making up our mind about “them” and ending the discussion.
I think Donald Trump would make a terrible president. I now have two options:
- Compare Trump to Hitler and label his supporters ignorant neo-Nazis
- Recognize that like myself, many Trump supporters want the best for this country, are dissatisfied with Washington politics, and are desperate for an outsider to shake things up
One of these options turns me into a caricature, and the other gives me a chance to find common ground with those in the Trump camp who are also interested in common ground.
I think a belief in Hell is completely erroneous. I now have two options:
- Label all believers in Hell as ignorant, self-righteous fundamentalists
- Recognize that many loving, intelligent, well-meaning individuals hold a sincere belief in Hell for what they feel to be legitimate reasons
One of these options turns me into a caricature, and the other gives me a chance to have meaningful discussions and partner with Christians who don’t share my theology in bringing expressions of God’s love to our communities.
Let’s do one more and take the training wheels off. There are parts of the liberal view on abortion that I very much disagree with. I now have two options:
- Attack all pro-choice proponents as selfish, promiscuous baby-murderers
- Recognize that many loving, intelligent, well-meaning individuals object to government interference in pregnancy for what they feel are legitimate reasons
One of these options turns me into a caricature, and the other gives me an opportunity to partner with pro-choice proponents in helping to lower the number of unwanted pregnancies – and thus abortions – in our communities.
When we label, we eliminate our ability to partner with others in affecting positive change or finding legitimate solutions. When we label, we cut off entire segments of society, losing their strengths, talents, and insights. When we label, we reduce our communities to a dysfunctionally homogeneous case study in groupthink.
Letting Go Of Co-Dependence
Whether we’re talking about the American church or society as a whole, we have to get rid of our co-dependence with the rest of humanity – our psychological need for everyone to agree with us, conform to our lifestyle and admit the superiority of our ideology. We have to be okay with people disagreeing with us.
Furthermore, we have to come to a point where we can recognize the intelligence and value in the voices that disagree with us. We have to understand that if a large chunk of society feels a certain way, they may be 100% wrong but they aren’t 100% stupid. There are legitimate reasons for that belief if you’re willing to look hard enough and place yourself in someone else’s shoes.
I want to encourage you to take a moment, identify a view you look down upon, and re-evaluate how you see it.
This is never a one-time process. One of the realities of living in the information age is that you will forever be absorbing large quantities of biased information, and you will inevitably have to sort through those biases from time to time.
But if you can learn to value those who disagree, you’ll find that these biases tend to sort themselves out.
I’d love to hear from you. Is this commentary spot-on or frankly ridiculous? What are some biases you’ve found yourself working out? Comment below, share this article if you liked it, and if you haven’t already, enter your email to get our upcoming series “The Free-Thinker’s Guide To Christianity”.
Let me give a little comment to you articles.
I think we shall not waist our time to try agruing about our theology.
We understand that God has devides his program in time sigments. We see this clearly in his word both OT and NT.
The word is not primarily about us but about Christ, and we are in Him.
By reading Pauls epistels we grow in understanding of this finished and complete work of God.
We ask the Holy Spirit who lives and works in our mind to reviel this Christ in us Rom 12:2 , Ef.4:23.
It is in Pauls epistels where we have all the doctriens for the Church. Or else is mostly illustrations , pictures etc. Also John has much good by Jesus to say for us in the dispensation of the Church. But we relate not anymore of Jesus of Nazareth in flech anymore. 2 Cor. 5:16
Fantastic. Sharing in many streams. Thank you!!
Hi Leif, it’s not a bad idea to check your spelling before posting publicly. Case in point: waste, arguing, divided, segments, epistles, reveal, doctrines, and flesh. Just so you know, I am NOT labeling you as a poor speller, I am simply offering you some free advice. Blessings!!
Beautiful article Jacob. So valuable. I pray that we in the Body of Christ may take it to heart and realize how much damage is done when we don’t respectfully listen to those with whom we disagree.
Thanks Steve, I hope we can get there.
Dang, Jacob …. stellar piece.
The opening quote was gold, as was the rest of the post.
I’ll be teaching philosophy of religion next term at the community college where I work.
Two things …
First, reading primary, firsthand sources from people who you disagree with is a must. Not just secondary or tertiary sources that summarize (I.e., caricature) those sources from people who’re already on your (read: MY) team.
Second, ironically those primary sources are just as key when it comes to actually understanding our own teams.
My favorite student exercise is to divide the class into two sides and ONLY give each side one of the Genesis accounts of creation.
Inevitably one of the “Sunday-school” students says, “Wait a minute … the text actually says THAT?!”
Beautifully disruptive to actually pay close attention to what the primary sources we pledge alliance to say for themselves.
Keep it up!
Haha that’s awesome Aaron. Great points and fantastic exercise. That would be a fun class. Thanks for commenting!
I think your words are spot on. Humility is the key to loving. Just imagine our world if we all did this!
Thanks Kyle, I completely agree. Humility is so important.
Great article! Much easier said then done, but I will take you up on the challenge of not writing off people or groups due to my biases. Especially in these crazy political times
Haha I feel like this is always hardest to live out during election season.
Abortion is the only tricky one, because when you say “I believe it’s murder, but I’ll find common ground with you and talk about it,” I feel like you may be exaggerating when you say “murder.” I think most of us agree that a serial killer who does not believe killing adults is murder is someone we need to find common ground and have a conversation with. I’m not even saying we should treat abortion as equal to the way we treat the murder of birthed people (because at this point that would basically mean war), but it’s a weird paradox that almost all of us pro-lifers fall into.
But great points. I recently moved across the country and have found a very diverse group of friends and having conversations with them has definitely caused me to grow in a way that never would have happened in my childhood home and friend groups. Good stuff.
That’s a fair point Sam, although most pro-choice proponents haven’t had actual abortions themselves. And if you were talking to someone who felt bad about having an abortion, you would not treat them the same as someone who was feeling sorry about an un-prosecuted murder they had committed.
But I agree that it’s not an apples-to-apples comparison, and yet I think the broader point still holds true.
Ha, I guess there’s no way to edit comments:
* A serial killer is NOT someone we find common ground with
Great article… This may help the political side of things…http://onelordonebody.com/2010/05/17/who-does-god-want-me-to-vote-for/
Jacob, I am a southern, female minister-in-training, and feel like I should send this to my mentor and say to her, “Bless me, for I have sinned, too.” Have you ever heard that a preacher is “stepping on someone’s toes?” You have definitely stepped on mine, and I thank you for it! I can almost see Jesus looking at me and saying, “uh-HUH?” I tend to tell people that I am a moderate or independent, if I admit to anything at all, and Lord forgive me, if they go off on a big jag about “those liberals,” I will often default to caricaturing just exactly like you preached! And may I keep and borrow this” It will preach! God bless you and keep it up!
BTW, I will give God the glory, and you the credit. After twenty-nine years of teaching and five years of study through Memphis Theological Seminary, I can do MLA citations in my sleep.
Haha thanks Lee, I’m glad it spoke to you! I have that same “uh-HUH” moment every few years. Feel free to share around or use it however you’d like.
Great take! The polemic over everything is sad. “Spiral Dynamics” has helped me to not look back with disdain or forward with fear. I’m really enjoying this blog. Keep up the good work!
I was talking with someone the other day who has found a lot of value in applying the spiral dynamics view to a wide range of human behavior. It was fascinating stuff. Any link suggestions for a good intro to that topic?
Chris – SO glad you brought up SPIRAL DYNAMICS! This would be a better world if SD were taught in schools from First grade on! I recommend to you also the Presence.tv videos with Doug King for a perfect intro/ overview of Spiral Dynamics, especially from a holistic Christian perspective. Videos are FREE. If you sign up for the newsletter, you’ll get the notices. No obligations. http://www.presence.tv/integral-theology/
Great Article Jacob…………………one of my favorite (still processing the one on Hell but you have me reading and thinking!!) Keep being “Brazen” and thank you for making us question and think more deeply about things we believe in.
Thanks Brandon, I really appreciate that!
Great article Jacob!
Indeed, we create warfare when we give up trying to understand and communicate, creating strawman opponents. Perhaps the best example, abortion seems so obvious to a pro-lifer. “A baby is being killed, murdered. Can’t they see that!!?” Yet an early abortion choice can be not so clearly “killing a baby” to the pro-choice mother.
I have found it to be of enormous help to remember FIRST that not everyone points to the same moment when life begins. [Foremost rule: Find out what their paradigm is, and then be sure YOU understand it]. Thus the approach I use: “When do YOU believe this biological object becomes a human?” The answers are many, but generally speaking, almost NO ONE is willing to knowingly kill a human life. But until you determine what the person believes (or is factually ignorant of), you will never be able to reason with the pro-choice person. Guaranteed. You are using two different dictionaries and will never understand where the other person is coming from.
The best resolution is to provide the best of science for the person to decide when a ‘biological object’ becomes human. Then, if they are believers, provide the language of scripture that the unborn were clearly assumed by both biblical writers and God to be human.
While God’s judgment will most assuredly come, it ought not be by our hand, save outside of government. Even Jesus pressed Judas to the last minute to change his mind, trying to reason with him, showing him his way was murderous. But He did not act against Judas. Should we presume to do less, to sit in the seat of God?
I may believe a person wrong, to be losing their soul, even. I often will not be able to countenance what they are practicing and will work to enact a law against it. There might be a time to be very acidic, as when Jesus called men fools and whitewashed tombs. But I also note that Josephus said there were 20 different Jewish ‘denominations’ and Jesus spent little time speaking of their peculiar practices, if any, except when those practices abused the helpless, or greatly offended God.
Bottom line: Our job is to keep reasoning, associating with those we aren’t comfortable with, extending the gift of peace that Jesus gave, and Paul gave in every one of his letters, be expert teachers and peacemakers. You cannot reason with someone you have cut off, wrongly offended, judged to be stupid and unable to learn. Such acts ultimately are self-centered, as opposed to the other-centered Deity who spoke up to the last moment with those who were mocking and killing him, with the result he won over one last soul.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
I LOVE this stuff. Everything I have read by you all has the clear ring of truth to it. I’m going to make a few comments,then I have a question for you that I really would appreciate the answer to.
This article is very important because it teaches a fundamental principle of Jesus’ “Brotherhood of Man” Ideal. If you are busy casting stones at people, one labeled “stupidity”, another “ignorance”, another “evil” — just how are you showing them the Love of God? People flocked to Jesus because he did NOT condemn them., neither does our Heavenly Father. He is willing to give us all the mercy, forgiveness, and time it takes us to grow into the Perfection he invited us to achieve with his help.
Jesus said this is the whole law, that you love God with all your might, and that you love your neighbor as yourself, and he said he who has seen me has seen the Father, then at the last supper he said “A new commandment I give you, that you love one another as I have loved you.” Jesus upped the ante — he was telling us to love one another AS A FATHER — that’s why it was a new commandment.
Now for the question I promised, have you read “The Urantia Book”? I really have to know, because everything of yours that I read is in full agreement with that book, but breaks it down for the average person to understand better. Please tell me.